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I calmed down. My ████ agreed to give me the day off in order to rest. I wasnt fit to work anyway, being so close to breaking down at any moment during a call would have been extremely hard for me to deal with.

But now that I think of it, they were two parts in that dream. The usual duality of the ███ and Moon. What made me cry ? The fact that in that dream, I was active, surrounded by people who cared about me and who saw me for who I was ? Or was it the part where I didnt have fear. Didnt have doubts. Where i wasnt double-guessing myself constantly. A me without █████ surrounding myself from the outside world. A me being me, rather than a ████████ pretending.

It took me a while to start talking outloud today, and I noticed my voice changed? I have the same one I had in my dream. Was it me noticing I had that voice all this time, or was it my voice changing because of that dream ? Who knows. Imagination and perception are separated only with ███████ line for me.

Thank you all who reached out to me, who talked to me to keep me company while I was in pain. Please believe me when I say I feel better now, a few hours later. That dream might be a wake up call. A way to remind myself of who I want to be. Apparently, I’m already there with the voice. I just need to do the rest now.

When I woke up, everthing I desire felt so distant, unreachable, otherwordly. As if my existence was meant for me to yearn, to wish, and to never █████ anything. Now, they feel so close if I extend my hand out. Nearly able to ██████ them, to bring them closer to my ██████.

I even begin to wonder if these tears were from ██ or from that ████████ dwelling inside. What filled me with despair at first now gives me hope? It’s all so confusing, but that is the nature of the labyrinth I built in my mind, ████ after ████, year after year.